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Tired of It.......Ok guys, I have just had it with MSN. What use to take me 30 minutes to an hour is taking me up to 4 hours. I am tired of my of getting locked out of my space. I am tired of my computer freezing. MSN can say whatever they want, but I know it's them.
I am not going to completely shut my page down. I will leave it here so if anybody wants to comment they can. I will also leave my email address so anybody can email me if they want.
It was fun and I had a great time meeting you all. I will miss you guys immensely. :) It's possible that one day I will come back, but right now it just doesn't look that way.
My email is DevilMoma@gmail.com
Well, this is Devil Moma signing off...... Military Wife's TurnMilitary Wife's Turn.... You probably didn't realize who was sitting next to you. You rattled on about how silly this anti-terrorist war is, and that it's just a political ploy. You complained about America being the world's police. You said you'd never let your son run off to fight, and you'd throw a fit if they just sent your husband off. At that point, I almost turned around and told you who I am. I am a military spouse. Life in the military has never been easy. It means low pay with no overtime, watching your husband go to work with a fever because the doctor didn't deem him sick enough for the day off. It means years of rules and protocol that wear on you like a dripping faucet late at night. Don't even get me going on the weekly inspection of our yards. We live with Terms like "Exercise" which means 12-18 hr hour shifts. And "TDY," which means your spouse is gone for up to 180 days. And "Remotes," which means your spouse is gone for longer than 180 days. And finally, "PCS," which means your whole family is going on this ride. Don't get me wrong, whining is not my intent here. While the road we've been down in the military hasn't always been paved; it's been a good life. My kids know you don't wait to make friends because you never know how long they'll be here. We know how precious good friends are even when miles separate us. We go to live in other countries where the locals despise us. It wasn't always in vogue to be patriotic. Sept. 11 helped turn that tide, but flags are fading around here again. There have been too many times I have needed him here. Forget the running of the home fort-there are kisses and hugs that should be taking place. I lie in bed and try to recall what his breathing sounds like next to me- or I hear the door open and try to envision him walking in from work. What I would give to hear his clear voice without telephone static and worrying about how much the phone call will cost us. Then the deep fear - what if this separation becomes permanent? Distance is a horrible thief of what is precious, because it only reminds us of how precious it is. You kept on talking for a while. I then realized I was picking up your tab. You could sit there freely and give your opinion because of the military families like ours. We are paying the price for your freedom. I've heard it said that soldiers of the past, present and future pay for the flag. Nah, we're the threads it's woven with. No SleepI was laying in bed trying to go to sleep, ut it seems once again sleep has evaded me.
I have less than three months to go before my hubby returns. You know the first 9 months really wasn't so bad. It went by way fast. Then we hit this point of being over the half way mark but not to the finish line yet. Time is dragging by so slowly. I feel like a little kid who is waiting for their birthday to hurry up and get here except it seems to never come.
I was watching on the news this evening that the pentagon has decided to hold over the 172nd indefinatly. They were slated to be returning home any time. 200 of their unit has already returned, but the rest of them got the big green weanie. Rummy said bend over and for your unpleasure it's coming with no lube! I can only imagine how those guys and spouses feel. What a horrible thing to do to guys who have been away from their families for a year.
Rummy said 3500 more troops have to go into Baghdad. Guess what that means..........instead of deploying less and less like Bush and Rummy promised they are deploying more and they are also breaking their promise of no more than a year deployment at a time promise. At some point that country has to stand on it's own. We have done everything we have promised them and it's time for us to start packing up and going home. I can't wait to get a new president. I hate Hillary but I am starting to think even she would be better than good ole GW. We need some real leadership in this country. We need to get rid of the nutjobs.
Those guys from the 172nd, their morale is going to fly right out the window. Rummy was on tv saying well they are professionals and the spouses will have to suck it up. I have a word for him..............!!!! I remember why I don't like him either now.
This leads me to my next logical assumption; I wonder if Bub will get held over in Iraq? I can already see where this is going. It always starts with one promise broken. I am not even playing if my husband misses two Christmases in a row because of some retarded war........well I don't think I have to explain. I think y'all will be able to imagine what I think about that.
All I want is for my hubby to come back. I am tired of laying in the bed wondering what he's doing and if he's safe. I am tired of not getting to see him everyday. I am tired of not getting to talk to him everyday. If I am lucky I get to talk to him once a week. I am tired of celebrating all holidays alone. I am tired of being a single parent. You would think with all those I'm tireds I would be alseep by now
 I just want my husband to get home. Right now 3 months seems like an eternity. I know I am already thru the long hall, but 90 days after he gets back he is fair game again. *sighs* For all of y'all wondering, I didn't pick this or choose it for my lifestyle. I hate not being able to plan very far in advance. I think I would trade just about anything to be like a normal family. Have a normal job, a normal lifestyle, live in my own house with a white picket fence and porch. I don't get that luxery though. We move too often. I guess on the bright side I can say at least I get to live in some pretty awesome places even though I end up seeing and enjoying them alone since the military always beckons and comes first.
Ok ok I will change gears and get off my perceived pity party. Tonight I had an FRG meeting. I made all that food and hardly anybody ate it so I wound up taking a lot of it back home. I begged people to take it home. It turned out to be fruitless. So now I am back in the place that I started from.
We have a date, but we aren't allowed to tell the spouses the date. If you ask me that is pretty freaking jacked up. I can understand where they are coming from being as they don't want the spouses to get their hopes up, but at the same time I just don't see how it's right to keep it from them. I mean dear god, they aren't little kids. I think if you just flat out tell them it's subject to change then it should be ok. We all know it and we have known it for sometime and even one of the SNCO's was trying to play off the date to me. I was like hello.........I already know about said date I was there with Capt F talking about it when you were...... DOIH!
Next month we are going to get the ladies from finance in to talk about the major pay cut they are about to take and how they need to readjust to it. I am not looking forward to the pay cut. But then again a very short time after Bub returns he is fair game and could receive orders again. I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying that does not happen. I really want him home with me for a while. Three months does not qualify as a while in this case.
Anyways, I guess I am going to try to go back to bed and see if I can get to sleep. If not, I guess it will be another long lonely night..........
 DevilMoma Industries ©2006
 
And Then....So I have just decided to walk away. I am not going to worry about any of that anymore. I feel like I have done my duty and I have tried, but I don't feel obligated to try anymore. I have decided that I can find my kids surrogate grandparents. I know they are a ton of elderly people in this world with nothing to do. They need relationships just like everybody else. I am thinking of going to the Veteran's Center. I have decided even if I don't really gain anything out of it, I will at least have the satisfaction of knowing that somebody went to visit with them and they weren't alone.
My parents have always tried to make it my responsibility to come to them. I have news for them; that road goes both ways. I really don't care what their excuses are anymore. You guys are right. I need to live my life. Living life is when you have lost all fear. I am not going to be like my mom. I wish she would grow a backbone and put her foot down or say get out. But I am quite sure that will never happen. So in the meantime, I am glad I avoided another close call.
My mom for some unknown reason actually thought this would work....... She said well dad was talking about flying out to see you (in other words just him) I said um no you can forget that. I said I just can't handle that. So wooo hoooo for me :) I spoke my mind without causing a fight. I should get brownie points for that......=))
I have decided I am really glad I live so far away. I may not particularly like the culture around here, but I do have my own little world going on. Since there isn't a lot to do, we make fun stuff up as we go. I think today I am going to call a girlfriend of mine and see if she wants to go to the waterpark with me. I love swimming so it should be a great stress relief. And I know for a fact it will wear my kids out. *big grinz*
Ok well, I need to get going. I have some phone calls to make and a trip to the online bookstore.
Today is a beautiful day and I should enjoy it.
DevilMoma Industries ©2006
MF SOB!!!!!My mom called me yesterday. She was talking about something at this moment evades me. As the convo went on my mom was talking about something my dad had done. Then for whatever reason she decided to drop it on me my dad has a friend who is my age and he has "adopted" her as his daughter. She even went so far as to tell me he tells other people she is his daughter. Then my mom said well you know it's because you don't have a relationship with him...... Ok and whose fault is that? And why are you trying to tell me like I am to blame for it?!!!
Please tell me why she would even say something like that on the eve of their trip? Is she trying to stir the pot? Does she want to see us fight?
I have to say, after my mom said that to me I said well I am glad he can be a father to somebody. I said it as sweetly as I could in my southern accent. I swear I am the goddess of masks. I really should get into playing poker.... I was not about to falter on that one and let her know she had gotten to me.
So in the meantime I am left wondering why it is he does not value me enough to try to make ammends. I suppose it's just much easier to befriend a new person and not have to answer for his mistakes.
After I thought about it, I decided I've had enough and I just couldn't deal with them being here right now. So I call them and I hear a strangly familar noise in the background. I said what are you doing. Oh nothing just sitting around. I said what's that noise.....(by now I knew what that noise was) I don't know I don't hear a noise. I said it sounds like you are at the beach. I don't know why you would say that.... I said you are at the beach aren't you......Since my mom doesn't ever tell lies she said yes. I said how long are you planning on staying there........we don't know yet. What do you mean you don't know? Aren't you suppose to be coming in today? Well, we changed our minds. I said really when? And when were you planning on telling me? We hadn't decided yet. I said so in other words that means you were not even planning on telling me you decided not to come. I didn't say all that.....I said umm yea you just did. Then I said thanks a lot it would have been nice to know so I wouldn't have gone and bought all these extra groceries that will probably go bad before I can use them all and thanks for putting the stress on me at all of you coming out here. That was extremely nice and considerate of you! Then she said well I just don't know why you are so upset. Boy she better be glad she was on the phone and not in person because I am sure I would have reached out and touched her!!!!
Ok let's see why would I be upset? First of all, you idiots stressed me out by even saying you were coming here which in essence traps me in my own territory with no escape. Second of all, I spent part of my vacation money to prepare for you to come out here. Third of all, how about that is just down right rude to invite yourselves to my home then not even have the courtsey to friggin show up! Oh and not even tell anybody you changed your mind either!!!
Somewhere in there I asked why it was they changed their minds. I was told because we didn't have the money. I said well you sure did have the money to go to the beach and pay for a nice motel and stay there since Sunday too.
I am so pissed I can't even begin to explain it. See this is the kind of bull shitee I put up with. I could never imagine doing that not to anybody unless something extremely urgent happened that I absolutely had to take care of. Changing your mind and having the money for the beach do not qualify as urgent or even important!
I actually can't even say half the things I want to say on here. I know the space police are lurking in the shadows. All I can say is I am PISSED!!!!! What normal people do that kind of crap?
They told me before that my dad had a paper due on Thursday (he's in graduate school) and they mite not be able to come if it wasn't done. I said well that's ok it's not like I don't have a computer here. So then they say yea I can always email it in. So they say ok we are coming in Tues. until of course I caught them at the beach which really shouldn't matter except they had said we are coming. So as I am thinking on this now instead of doing his paper he chose to do all this other stuff (yes there is other stuff I left out just because I didn't want to bore y'all with their life) instead of coming here. He hasn't seen his grandkids in 3 years. One of them he has not seen at all. So of course I am quite use to his little bs games however my kids are not. I know one thing......my kids are not going to be hurt by them. I can guarantee it with my life.
So for all my pshychologist wanna-be(s) it's time to come throw your two cents in. How should I handle this? My first re-action is just to not talk to them ever again, but then again I am pissed. I have found when I extremely angry like this I cannot make clear minded decisons. Hence comes the call for advice.....
 DevilMoma Industries ©2006
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